Tuesday, 2 August 2011

Love is everything....

Hello again, so sorry its been so long. It seems blogging is something i sit down and do when i have a few minutes, and i seem to NEVER have a few minutes. However i do still love to catch up on your blogs for inspiration, and simply to see how other people live their lives.......because however different we are we all seem so very similar.

I have had some goodbyes in my life in the last six months which has been very sad, but also enlightening. My darling Grandma left us, and we said goodbye on the most gorgeous sunny day amongst the daffodils and giggled at how she would have enjoyed being very carefully lifted and carried by six young men. The greatest gift she gave me, and she gave me many, was being with her at the end of her life. After 98 healthy years she chose to move on, gradually, peacefully and with dignity. She knew there was a better place and i could see that. I am only sad because i won't see her again, i am happy that she knew where she was going and that i loved her so much. I had been scared, i have never witnessed anything like that before, I asked to nurses in her care home what the doctor had given her to keep her so peaceful but they said nothing, this was normal for those nearing death. She taught me to be strong and not be afraid, because there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of.

After a difficult few months, we had to say goodbye to our Mollie dog. She needed another home, she was a complex character, we loved her so much and tried so hard to make it work with lots of people to help us, harder than i have ever worked at something, but she wasnt happy and it showed. She would snarl and bite us every day, even if we walked past her in her bed which is very upsetting when you have children in the house. I still don't know why, she knew nothing but kindness but she couldnt relax unless she was in control of us all, she wanted to lead the pack at any cost. We have had lots of pet dogs and never met one quite like her but she is happy in a new home that can give her what she needs with other dogs to play with and i can't focus on the negative.

I was so down after her moving on that i said i wouldnt get another dog. The house was empty and felt less of a home, but i didnt have confidence in myself as a dog owner any more....what did i do to her? How could i have prevented it?......Then.....i fell in love....

I said no, we couldn't possibly, we didnt deserve her, we were obviously bad owners. But i couldnt sleep until she was ours. And five months on....

Meet Sooshi. Hobbies: cuddles, eating wasps, cuddles, stealing apples off the tree, tummy tickles, having her paws held, eating anything that is edible or not and cuddles.

Oh what fun we have had, what mischief. She has brought such love. Those soulful eyes have healed so much. She is off on her first holiday with us next week, to Long Melford in Suffolk, so hopefully lots of exploring. Any suggestions very welcome.


1 comment:

  1. So, so sorry about your house...I know just how you feel...happened to us last year so I wont fill this with the usual platitudes as it is no comfort at all.I do know that it will all unravel in a different way than you had hoped and ultimately all will be well. Thinking of you,

    Sarah -x-